By Tinisia Branch
A couple of years ago I took my daughter, who is now thirteen, to hear Alvin Poussaint speak at Hutchinson, a private school here in Memphis. The lecture series was called “Facing History and Ourselves”. I was reminded of his lecture when I completed the assignments for Module 3. During his lecture he spoke of the affect that slavery has on African American families today. I found this subject rather mind boggling because slavery happened such a long time ago. It was over and we had to move on as a people. In my mind all I could hear was another version of the phrase “Blame it on the man”. Of course what was done to us during slavery was apprehensible and even unforgivable, but we had to keep our heads in the game. However, I really wanted to hear what Dr. Poussaint had to say.
As I sat there, the beginning of his lecture sounded very familiar. He spoke of slaves meeting, falling in love, marrying, starting families and then being separated. These families were separated and sold off to other plantation owners. Dr. Poussaint also spoke of slaves who were rebellious or tried to escape. These slaves were whipped until the skin on their backs were torn and left with horrible scars. I knew these stories and I was eager to see how Dr.Poussaint was going to tie them into his lecture. He then asked the audience if anyone was ever whipped by their parents or whipped their own children. Dr. Poussaint had my attention.
Of course, I raised my hand, because I had gotten whippings and in turn whipped my children. Yes, I said it, whippings. Good old switch whippings. I got them and turned out to be alright. So I figured my kids would get the same and should be alright also. However, when Dr. Poussaint began to show the similarities between slaves getting whipped and African American children getting whipped I shivered. What I thought was a proper form of punishment quickly turned into a cruel form of punishment. At that moment I began to rethink my childhood and my own children. Did I really suffer from those whippings? Was my mom, the one I will do anything for, wrong? As Dr. Poussaint continued to speak I listened with all ears.
I came to the conclusion that my mom did what she thought was best, and I would do the same. At that point I decided I would continue to whip my children, but it would be my very last resort. I based this decision on what I felt deep inside my heart. My brother is okay and I am okay. Neither of us has ever gotten into trouble, have great work ethic, and we understand the word respect. I felt good about my decision then and I still do today. Dr. Poussaint then touched on the connection between families being separated during slavery and present day single parent homes.
I was so intrigued with this connection. I even came up with my own comparison using modern day terms. During the time of slavery black men were forced to become “baby daddies”. They were not given the choice to stay. If the plantation owner sold them, they had to leave their families. Many of them would go to other plantations and start other families. I don’t believe they started them because they didn’t want or love their previous families. They started these new families because they didn’t expect to see their previous families again. Now let’s jump to 2012. John Doe has five children by five different women and was never married to either woman. Previously, I would have said John Doe was trifling and just plain old nasty. Once Dr. Poussaint finished speaking, I began to rethink my position on this matter. Was “baby daddy” syndrome created during slavery? Could it really be possible that “baby daddy” syndrome was passed on to black men from generation to generation?
There is no way I could really answer these questions. I do know that this all sounded so very surreal, yet the connection could not be ignored. At the time, I had no idea how to handle this new found information. For some reason, I couldn’t process it the way I could process theories in Sociology. Theories in Sociology are very concise. This scientist believes this or that and his or her theory represents what he or she believes. Therefore, you end up with several different theories because everyone has a different opinion. The problem has been none of the theories I have learned could explain the information in Dr. Poussaint’s lecture. Then along came AAAS to the rescue.
I’m not saying that AAAS has miraculously answered all my questions, but it has definitely directed me towards the light. I look at all things African American in a different light. Instead of jumping on the “we shouldn’t do that” bandwagon, I ask why do we that. I realized that Jewish Americans held onto their culture and when we tried to hold on to ours, they stripped it away from us. We were forced to assimilate and lost the majority of our history. We were forced to do things that we would have never done in our original lands. AAAS taught me some very valuable information. However, I am still wondering if there is a theory out there that describes the connection between the slave experience and the current state of African Americans.
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Nice reflection Tinisia
ReplyDeleteI have also though about this a time or two. I feel that the connection that you are making is more than relevant, but i just hope that this doesnt become an excuse for black men. As you stated during that time they did not have choice but today they do.I feel like it may have died at once but something brought it back because black men have not always left there wives. At one time the black family was strong and the men held it together.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the information you heard from Dr. Pouissaint was a precise measurement of how society thinks. There are many views of why this happened and why African Americans act the way they do. The question should not necessarily be why, to cover up bad actions, but should be how can we change this generational curse. If it was the case that black men got most of their origin of behavior from the idea of being taken from their families, it still gives them no right to leave. Before slavery time you had biblical times and there blacks were wealthy and took care of their families. So were is the generational cycle from that? Its not that they do it because things changed, its just that some black men just have a problem with commitment. My husband for one, is a black man who is very supportive of his family and has been there for us since day one. I believe a lot of it has to do with how black men are raised. Those who tend to have an example of how to be a man to his family, follow those same footsteps when they have a family of their own.
ReplyDeleteAs for the comment about whippings. I just have one thing to say, the bible says, "Spare the rod, Spoil the Child," I believe this firmly. The way that slaves were whipped is in no comparison to how parents whipped their children. In one case you have people who hate people and beat them because they know they can. They do this for humiliation sake and to make them loyal to them. In a parent's case a child is whipped because you love them and want to see them be better. If you don't whip them now, they get into trouble and the police will whip them later. We as parents have a duty to keep our children in line and help them to grow to be respectable citizens.